When I Lost You
by NokaKomi
Summary: Summary: This a one-shot about what happened if Leo died in the season finale. Warning: This is a Character Death Fic. So Beware and Enjoy... Rated T to be on the safe side.


**This is a one shot about what happened if Leo died in the season finale. Warning: This is a Character Death fic. So beware! And Enjoy...**

"Leo!"

Raph ran towards his brother to save him but Donnie quickly held and stopped him from getting out.

"Go! I can't hold it any longer!"

Leonardo said while griping Mikey's kusarigama chain trying to keep Kraang prime away from his brothers.

"We have to go!"

Donnie yelled, but Raph kept on squriming. By the time Raph fought off Donnie's grip, Mikey has already closed the escape pod and it started moving. Raph watched in horror as they started moving, Leo was still holding the Kraang prime, and they were leaving, without him.

"Leonardo!"

He watched as his brother's and Kraang's size became smaller as they went further out. The pod finally reached out and landed on the ocean's surface. Raph quickly opened the pod and searched despertly for his brother, he might have gotten out. He might of been able to escape the technodroim on time. His heart dropped as he saw the big splash and the technodroim was out of sight.

"No. No! NO!"

He quickly stood on the edge of the pod, he was about to dive in the ocean to look for him but Donnie grabbed his wrist.

"Raph! Its no use he's gone!"

"No. Let me go! He might've gotten out! I know he did!"

He didn't wait for another responce he quickly dived in. He started swimning until the huge technodroim started appearing. He swam around it, but he didn't find Leo. He went up to the surface and took a glimpse at the pod his brothers were on it. They stared back waiting for him, he drew in a breath and dived in again. He looked in every inch his eyes could reach, he slowly went deeper and made his way inside the droim. His eyes widen, there was a figure floating inside, Leo.. He quickly swam closer to him till he reached him, he found his eyes closed and he floated lifelessly. He grabbed him and started swimming out but suddenly he was pulled. He looked and found Leo's arm was held by Mikey's kusarigama chain which was stuck in the technodroim's wall. He quickly reached his Sai and broke the chains and set his brother free. He held him and made his way to the pod where his brothers were on it.

"Raph!"Donnie yelled.

"Quick take him!"

Raph raised his brother's limp body until Donnie reached him and dragged him on the pod. Mikey helped Raph get on, Raph kneeled and started regaining his breath. Donnie placed his ears on Leo's mouth but didn't feel anything.

"He's not breathing!"

He quickly started pumping his chest, Raph crawled and went next to Leo's head.

"Pump his chest I'll breath in to him!"

Raph pinched Leo's nose and and breathed in his mouth, he breathed one then two then three.

"Three pumps!"

Donnie strongly pushed Leo's chest, one then two then three pumps. Leo stayed down limply not breathing. Raph bent down again and breathed in Leo's mouth. He cursed as he barely made three breathes, Donnie pushed Leo's chest again but there was no response. Raph looked at Leo's face and found no sign for life, he bent down and breathed in six times. Still Leo gave no response. His vesion blerred as tears started falling from his eyes, he bent down again but couldn't breathe in this time.. It was no use. Leo is gone.. He slowly held Leo and took him in his arms.

"You idoit... How dare you!"he whispered in his ears. "How dare you! You're my hero.. You can't leave me!"

He looked in his brother's face, he didn't look dead, he looked like he's sleeping peacefully. He gently place a kiss on his head, he held him tightly and sobbed louder. He didn't care what the others might have thought, he didn't care if he showed his brothers weakens. He lost his brother.. His only older brother.. He lost his leader, his protecter, his best friend. He lost the one and the only.. Hamato Leonardo.

* * *

One Year Later...

Raph entered the dojo and closed the door behind him. He walked in and sat on his knees in front of the bookshelf. The first shelf had a picture of Leo and candles around it to honor him. The second shelf laid his swords neatly, next to them there were some picture of him with his family.

"Hey Leo.."Raph started. "Hope you're having what you deserved up there were ever you are.. Mikey, Donnie, April and Master Splinter had finally started moving on, it took them a while but.. But I managed to help them. They all started moving on except for me.. I miss you bro, why did you leave us? Why did you leave me alone? You were my only older brother, my best friend. I.. Feel lonely without you.. Everyday I feel it, I put Mikey to bed and sing him lullaby that you use to sing to him every night. I also drag Donnie from his lab to his bed. And I even started to mediate with Master Splinter so he doesn't feel lonely.. But I have no one... I don't have anyone to talk to... You were the only one who use to lisiten to me.. I didn't try to talk to them anyways, because if I do.. They wouldn't understand me like how you did, even if they do, I don't want to hurt them by how I feel and the nightmares I have.. Nightmares never stopped when you left, they became worse.. I miss you Leo, I really do. I'm sorry I was always arguing with you, I wish I just lisiten to you, I wish I didn't give you a hard time like I always did.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I wasn't the brother you deserved, I'm sorry I didn't give you the life you deserved. I'm sorry.. I hope you have that life up there, the one you deserve.. Thanks for everything Leo.. Thank you for being the best older brother in the world.. Thank you for protecting us, for being a great leader, for giving us what we didn't deserve. Thank you.. I love you Leo I've always had even though I was too stupid and idiot for telling you this. Thank you, love ya bro."

* * *

He stood up and went out to sit with his brothers.

Raph bent covered Mikey up, he slowly bent down and kissed him on his head.

"Good Night Mikey.."

He went out and went to Donnie's lab, he chuckled as he saw his younger brother doing what he always did everyday. Sleeping on the keyboard. He slowly took him and let him lean on him, he put him on his bed and started taking his gear off. He took his knee and elbow pads off, then untied his mask, he put them on the table next to the bed. Then he untied his bandage around his wrist, fingers and feet, and put them next to the gear. He covered him and kissed his head and went out.

After when Raph made sure they were all asleep, he yawned tiredly and went to bed. He took his gear off and flunked on his bed, he looked at Spike and smiled happily.

"Good Night Spike."

He then got a toy and picture, he sighed sadly as he looked at them. It was a stuffed toy that Leo had made for him for Christmas, the last Christmas they celebrated with him. It was a palm sized stuffed turtle that look like Raph, with a red bandana, a belt on the waist, and there were actually two tiny sais on the back. They were made of real iron, he was astonished how Leo was able to make that toy look just like him. But after that night he lost Leo, he changed the way it looked. He replaced the red bandana to a blue one, he added a brown strap a cross the chest of the toy. He also made two swords and shafts for them. He made it look just like Leo, not that he didn't like how it looked like in the beginning. He wanted it to look like Leo to honor him, to remember him every time he looked at it. He turned and looked at the picture that he held in the other hand. It was a picture of him and Leo on Christmas eve, Raph was holding the stuffed toy and Leo was holding a Captain Ryan action figure. Raph was actually the one that got it to him, he was once walking in the sewers and found it, he took it to the lair and cleaned it up and made it look as good as new. They were both sitting on their knees sitting next to each others smiling towards the camera. It was his favorite picture.

"Good Night Leo.."

He placed the picture under the pillow and held the toy next to him and slept.

Raph whimpered sadly and started squirming roughly on his bed as he was having an awful nightmare. Then he felt something warm touch him on his head and the nightmare was over. His eyes opened and then it widen..

"L-Leo.."

He saw his brother's spirit standing in front of his bed smiling softly.

"Hey Raph."Leo waved.

"Leo!"

Raph got out of the bed and ran towards him, he threw his arms around him as reached him and took him in to a tight hug. Leo hugged him back and sat on the floor letting him sit next to him.

"Leo.. I missed you.."

Raph said between his sobs, he held him tighter per minute fearing he could leave him.

"It's okay Raph I'm right here.."

Leo softly brushed Raph's head as he soothed him. Raph broke the hug and dried his tears.

"Leo.. I.. I'm sorry.. For being... A stupid idiot brother. I'm sorry... For everything.. Wrong I did and to how I treated you.. I'm so sorry.."

"It's okay Raph I know you never meant it, it's okay.. Also you shouldn't apologize, you made me proud! You're being a great leader, a great brother and a great protector!"

"Not as great as you were."

"Even better, who knew you were an awesome leader!"

Leo happily nudged him causing Raph to chuckle..

"Who knew such a role would be a pain in the butt!"

Leo laughed happily.

"No seriously! All this planning and being patient gives me a headache. How did you manage all this?"

"Well I did what I could, I did my best."

"I guess I am doing my best... Also it seemed we both have something in common."

"Which is?"

"We have a hot head brother that likes to make our job easier."Raph said sarcasticly.

"Donnie?"

"Yipe."

"No way!"

"Yeah.. He doesn't like me being the leader, he thinks I'm trying to replace you, I don't blame him, after all, nobody can replace you."

"It's okay Raph give him time.. He's just confused, by time he'll understand you're trying to help and he'll appreciate that."

"I hope. Hey Leo.."

"Yeah.."

"Just want to say thanks for everything, thanks for sacrificing your life, you are a brave hero.."

"You my brothers I can't just watch you die and do nothing."

"I thought that you were trying to do what Captain Ryan did, but it turned out you weren't."

"What do you mean?"

"Captain Ryan lived.. You did more than him, you were better than him.."

"Thanks Raph.."

Leo took him in his arms and hugged him.

"Love you bro.."

"Love you back."

"Well I guess it's time to go."Leo said sadly.

"Oh I understand, hope to you come back and visit me again."

"I will I promise and I'm always watching over you."

"Thanks Leo.."

They gave each others one last hug then Leo backed away and started disappearing.

"Take care of them and yourself.."

"I will."

"Love Ya Hothead!"

"Love Ya Fearless!"

Leo smiled and disappeared. Raph sighed sadly and went back to bed, he wished Leo could sit more with him, but he will come back as he promised. He smiled, Leo is in a better place now and that what matters. Raph closed his eyes then suddenly he heard a soft knock on the door.

"Raph? Are you awake?"

"Donnie? Yeah come in."

He sat up and Donnie sat next to him.

"Is everything okay?"Raph asked.

"I.. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing? For what?"

"For yelling at you and ruining you're plan to night, and for treating you badly."

He wrapped his arms around Raph and hugged him.

"I.. I just miss him Raph."

"I know.. We all do, but it's okay, he's in a better place now."

"I'm so sorry Raph for giving you a hard time, although you're trying to help us.. I'm sorry.."

"It's okay Donnie, I know you didn't mean it, after all nobody can replace him. And I know I can't.."

"But you're being as great as he was.."

"Thank you.."

"Raph?"

"Yeah."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Yeah sure why not."

He made a place for Donnie and the both cuddled next to each others.

"Good Night Raph.."

"Good Night Donnie."

The End..


End file.
